.. and i hurt him terribly.
why?
i think i was afraid that everything was moving to fast. and it was. at first it was fine. and i liked that idea.. that maybe he was the one. then, i pulled back. and i got scared.
.. and i met someone else. i mean, yes, i've known him for some time. in fact, i've known him for a year or so. but.. now. i don't know. it seems clear.. and i feel all these feelings for him. and i've known i've had them, but it's been recent that i've felt them. and i like the way i feel when i'm w/him.
and it's real to me.
.. i don't know. but i feel bad for what i've done. even tho, i had to. i mean, i couldn't lead him on.. that would be mean.. and i'm not like that. but..
he means a lot to me, still. right now, i want to date. i want to be free.. and enjoy life.
being bogged down can't allow that.
.. well, gotta go. i'm in class. and i need to concentrate.