.. happened to me today. Found out from my dad no less.
*sigh* Just wish it didn't happen. or if I didn't find out. He just slipped. And he felt so bad that he did. He didn't think it would affect me like it did.
.. but it did.
I don't really wanna get into it, tho. I really don't.
If you really feel the need to know what's going on, email me. (starupabove4u@hotmail.com)
Nikki (not the one I normally talk about. the one I'm referring to works at kmart. she is cool, and suprisingly could pass for nikki #1's twin if nikki #1 still had curly hair. Okee. not that you guys really really care, i'm sure.) gave me a Monster's Inc button she got from work.. she had been saving it for me.. I thought that was sweet.. :)
.. I think that was the high light of my day..
Aside from that, today was one of those days that you wish you never got out of bed. Yes, most definitely. Actually, this week in general will be a week where I wish I NEVER got out of bed.. this whole entire week.. I just feel it..
by the way, guys, Matthew, Mr. Christion Boy, said pussy and clit tonight.. yes, yes yes! He did! Nikki and I were shocked. Amazingly shocked. I mean, we actually laughed our asses off. He proceeded to say several more words in reference to the female anatomy. Shocking yes!
I had to mention it.
I'm sure some of you really didn't care to know that. But, still. I guess you could say that was another high light of my night.
.. I really wish that something amazingly perfect would happen to me. Something that would place a permanent smile upon these lips of mine. I wish that I would wake up tomorrow, and I something outstanding would occur. And what happened today would not even mean a thing to me. That I could say to myself, "ahh.. whatever. yesterday was nothing. what happened today? yes.. that means everything.."
I'm so sick and tired of not having someone in my life that means the world to me. Someone that I could possibly share the stars with.. little kisses.. walks in the rain.. everything. I want to share my life with someone else. Sure, I'm an independant kind of girl. But, there are times where I need to have someone there to wrap their arms around me. And yes, that is a dependancy in many ways. You can wrap your own arms around yourself all you want, but that's not a comfort in anyway. It's rather stupid looking in all honesty.
As much as I was in a "I hate guys" mode, it was for the mere fact that I didn't have one in my life. Yes, I'll admit it. I'll be totally and completely truthful with you.
.. and now, I sit here listening to The Ataris. That's not helping at all. esp the song I'm listeing to. ahhh.. I hate feeling like this.
whatever. I'm fooling myself, and I'm seriouly debating whether or not I should be a nun or just live the rest of my life with a house full of cats. I'm either with God or cats.. in a way, tho, I'm alone.
.. any ideas, guys!? nun or the cat lady in the neighborhood? at least if I'm the nun, I won't have the weird reputation in town as the "weird lady with the zillion cats.."
.. who knows!
I just feel like crap. Complete crap. No, No, I feel like shit.
.. I don't think I can be a nun, tho. Look at this mouth of mine! Shit? Pussy!? I'm a guttermouth. I can't live a life of not cussing. I couldn't do it. I'd be the only nun at confession every hour, on the hour..
".. it's been five minutes since my last confession, father. I've said fuck to the cook when he said we didn't have any salad left.. I said shit when I heard that they didn't have "To Kill a Mockingbird" in the library.. and I said Goddamit when I found out that I wasn't allowed to blare my Jimmy Eat World reallly loud anymore.."
.. I can see that going over really well, how about you!?
Ooh, and of course, I'd be in there when I'd have impure thoughts about Priest Whatta Waste (that's what they call a Priest that really shouldn't be a priest.. he should be a super model.. or some movie star.. basically, he shouldn't be a priest.. He SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THE NUN WHO GAVE UP ON LOVE AT AGE NINETEEN INSTEAD OF BEING THE CRAZY CAT LADY!).
Once again..
".. father, it's been five minutes since my last confession. No, this time, I didn't cuss. I DID have impure thoughts about YOU while I was confessing about my potty mouth tho.. Ahhhhh.. the impure thoughts!!!!!!! they get me everytime, father.. everytime.."
So, as you can see.. the nun idea. Wouldn't work. No way jose.
.. maybe the cat lady wouldn't hurt. At least if I was a cat lady, some hunk of a insane dog dude would be like "hey.. check her out.."
He'd dig me, we'd date..
It would be like a fairy tale..
.. our families would join.. well, our dogs and cats, of course.
"Now, I pronounce you Crazy Cat Lady and Insane Dog Dude...you may kiss the bride.. "
See?! How romantic.
if I was a nun, it just wouldn't happen.
.. I think I need to go now. *shakes head* I'm planning my life to be the crazy cat lady. Yes, I have to go. Bye guys! :)