.. if those aren't the most perfect lyrics for how I feel about Tony right now, I really don't know what are.. aside from Cautioners by Jimmy Eat World..
He amazes me, he really does..
.. you're wondering why the sudden entry about him, huh?
Well, he called me today.. and I went off on him about everything I had bottled up in my heart about him.. all the feelings I had locked up in me.. I just let him have it.. I told him pretty much every little feeling I had from a year ago up until now..
He was shocked to say the least, but he had to know.. he really did.. He wasn't happy at first, but that's life, right?
.. the convo ended on a bit of a happy note.. he did say that he still cares for me..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there's still this part of me that has these feelings for him.. as much as I go on and on about how much he makes me oh so crazy.. or how much I go on about how much he can be such a stupid idiot..
.. but.. my heart.. oh my oh my! It beats about a mile a minute when I'm on the phone with him.. and I get this sick feeling when I'm talking to him..
.. and I get cold.. oh do I get cold! I never get cold unless I'm on the phone with someone I'm talking to that makes me all crazy inside..
Isn't that funny, tho? Normally, when you really really like someone they make you all hot and what not..
.. no, not me! I get freezing cold and I get the shivers..
I just can't get over him..
.. is there something fucking wrong with me!!??
Oh my oh my! This is what he does to me.. I told you, didn't I?
Ahhh!! He calls me up just to make sure he has a bit of a hold on me emotionally..
.. just think if he had told me he still loved me.. just imagine that one!
I'm not going to think of that..
Started classes today.. Had English this morning around noon and I had my Algebra class later that evening..
Cute boy alert! ;) He sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME in Algebra.. I think I might just pass that class because of him..
.. and he an eye brow ring.. he's tall.. and he's got dark hair.. I think I'm in dreamyyy lala land.. I could be an A+ student in that class.. :)
He's funny too.. and really really nice..
We were reviewing over mean and median in class.. and a general lame definition of a mean "means" an average of numbers.... well, we were just doing an example on our own when he says to me "hey, you're mean.." with this cute ass smile.. and I just give him this 'what the heck are you talking about?' look.. and he replies.. "yea.. well, mean means you're average.. so, you're mean.." and he just laughed..
.. I just started giggling.. I just rolled my eyes at him, and he just winked..
Yea.. I'll enjoy that class.. ;)
Sooo.. the two josh's are in my English class... My joshie poo is in there, and he sits behind me, so that's pretty cool..
.. but my partner in crime in Mr. Hoylman's class back in Current Issues is in there..
That's not good.. this can only mean trouble.. luckily, he sits about two rows over.. he kept on smirking over in my direction, and I just rolled my eyes with my own little smirk as if it to say "NO JOSH!!! NO STEALING THE TEACHERS WORK BOOK! NOT AGAIN!!!"
.. he was the reason why I got into trouble.. the one and ONLY time..
He was a bad influence on me..
I realized that I have to get out of some of the bad habits I had gotten into..
For example..
"tho"
"w/"
"wanna"
"gotta"
..etc, so on and so forth..
Yes, this will not do in my English class..
Sooooo, my dears, if you seeee me do this, please correct me.. I have to get use to this whole correction junk..
I think I'm pretty good at what I do, and that is writing,
but I have to break myself down.. I've been told I'm good at what I do.. that I'm an excellent writer, but you know what? I still have to lose the big head that I've developed over the past four somewhat years so that when I do get critisized it won't hurt nearly as much as it would when I had that big ol' head.. I have to tear myself down so that I can build myself right back up again..
.. well, kids, it's been swell, and I'm a bit tired.. it was a long day..
I have a class tomorrow at 6 p.m... that's a sweet deal, if I do say so myself.. :)
Night guys! :)